Category Archives: CA Rant

C.A.tch-22

Please answer this simple question before you start reading this –
Expand C.A.
Well, you have options to choose from:
A. California
B. Cricket Australia
C. Captain America
D. Chartered Accountancy
The following might seem highly vague and wtf’ish if your answer to the above was A,B or C. If your answer was D, there is no guarantee, but just a slight chance that you might understand this, unless of course, you were one of them dummies.;) The different colours are just a ploy to distinguish the speaker.

<Scene 1. Jumbo and Co., Chartered Accountants>
“Hey Ravi! Did you speak to Sir about the leave?”

“No, Midhun. Was waiting for you. Do you think we will get three months leave for PCC?”
“I wish I could say yes, but sadly, I’m not the partner, nor his son. Hee hee. Let’s just hope for the best. You ask Sir about the leave first.”
“Oh, whatanideasirji! Shut up. Ravi, you ask him. Sir was impressed with you over the presentation the other day too, you know. That could have an impact.”
“Could Ravi, could. Could does not equal will. And so, sorry to disappoint, I am not ready to be the scapegoat. Why don’t you take the honor?”
“Oh, spoilsport. Listen. This isn’t gonna work. We both go in together, ask and clear it out. Ok?”
“Fine. All the best to us. Fingers crossed.”

<Scene Two. Sir’s Cabin.>
“Sir..?”
“Yes.. Oh, hi, guys. What’s this double power. Some Gherao? Please. Spare me. Hah hah.”
“Er, No sir, actually, we have our exams in November.”
“Oh yeah. Good. Hmmm.. You know, when I was writing my Inter, that is, decades back, …”
<Fifteen minutes later>
“… ahhh.. that was long back.
You guys are lucky, exams are much easier these days.  Anyway, what’s the status of the report I gave you, Ravi? Oh, Midhun, you are free? We have an audit to start. Why don’t you start the assignment tomorrow?”
“Errrr. Okay sir..! :-o”

<One week later.>
<Scene Three. Jumbo and Co.>

“Sir..?”
“Yes.. Hello, guys. Tell me. The report ready?”
“Sir, actually, regarding our exam, can we start our study leave from August?”
“What! August? Thats three months? Long time. Believe me, you just need two months for Inter. Anyway, how prepared are each of you? Let me see. Midhun, what does Section 43B of the Income Tax Act say?”
“Er, sir.. That..”
“Hmm.  So you don’t even know that. Tell me, what does AS-19 deal with?”
“A….S….19….”
“Oh my God. And you are supposed to write Inter in a few months. And this is your preparation? No way. You forget this exam, start preparing seriously from today, and write the next exam coming up in May. Ravi, You tell me the answer.”
“Sir, 43B deals with the Deductions on Actual Payment and AS-19 is Leases.”
“Oh, good, that’s right. So you have prepared well already. Why do you need three months then? You can do it with two months of leave, I’m sure. So that solves it. Guys, if you don’t mind, I have a seminar to attend. See you people tomorrow. And don’t forget about the report, ok?”
“……………..”
“……………..”

Exams and Results

It’s official. Yours truly is now a degree holder. B.Com First Class, to be precise. The only regret being not attending a college, whereby missing out on class-bunking, movie-watching, boozing, drooling, partying, ah, you know the rest! In short, skipped out years of jolly time wastage by deciding to become the person who is awake among those who sleep.

(By the way, a google search on the above quote results not in the ICAI motto, but on sleep disorders. Well, No surprises there eh?)

I wish there was a way to look into how my university people value the answer sheets and set the marks. My mark list shows that I got 40 marks in Costing I and a 90 in Costing II. Which is like getting a 40 in CBSE Class X English exam and a 90 (equivalent) in TOEFL. Okay, thats exaggerating. But you get the point. So, according to them, I know just about enough to manage to pass in the basics part, while I’m an expert at the advanced topics. Kewl! Wonder what they were smoking. Anyway, the rest of the marks are equally bewildering.

Hmm. On another side, all kinds of rumours are spreading on a change in the ICAI exam pattern following their press release about students expected to have advanced knowledge right from the PCC level. An increase in the minimum marks or cut off level seems to be the most common one. Why do all the rumours that we hear tend to be bad ones?!

To the November exam guys: All the best, ppl! Rock the show!

And to everyone: Happy Deepavali 🙂

Final Destination – I

Me: “What? CA Final results are out? Very low pass percentage? Shit.”

Friend: “Yea, super bad. Why cant the institute be more liberal?! So many deserving students have not cleared.”

Me: “Hmm. Isn’t that what makes the whole course so scary? Oh wait. I forgot articleship.”

Friend: “Hehe. Yeah. Anyway how’s your studies going?”

Me: “Well, coming to think of it, its been seven months of studi-able time (PCC results were out in Jan) wasted away successfully by me so far. And considering my laziness, it doesn’t certainly look like it will end with seven months of wastage.”

Friend: “What, you tryin’ta say you haven’t started studying yet? Come on nerd. Stop kidding.”

Me: “……………………………………………”

Friend: “Ok ok. So why haven’t you started yet? You know final is not like PCC. There’s just way too much portion to be covered, you see.”

Me: “Wait. Are you my dad?”

Friend: “Hehe. I was just telling.”

Me: “Hmm. Damn. Truth hurts. Anyway, I guess I’ll start with something today.” 🙂

___________________________________________________________

God, so many books.  This is too bad. Looks like I’ll take a month to by-heart the names of the subjects even. And which group each subject belongs to, thats even harder to by-heart. Well, let me pick out one book at random and start. (One advantage of not knowing a dime at all – all subjects look the same 🙂 )

Now whats this. Information Systems Control and Audit? Hmm. ISCA. Cute. Where on earth do they come up with such weird book cover designs! Anyway lets see.

____________________________________________________________

Syllabus: Level of knowledge – Advanced knowledge.

B.E.A.utiful. Just two words. Advanced knowledge. Easy to say. Kadavuley..!

____________________________________________________________

Chapter 1: Information Systems Concepts.

<Yawn ^ 200>

____________________________________________________________

Oh! <Brainwave:)> I forgot to check out the Preface. Lets see what it says.

  • The basic knowledge about Information Technology gained at PCC level is sought to be built up further through this paper.

Oh devil! Isn’t that paper over yet? God. No wonder Computer Engineers are paid so much.

  • Since the level of knowledge required is ‘Advanced knowledge’, you are advised to make an early start of the study material and give repeated and intensive readings over a period of time.

Oops. Why didn’t I read this earlier. Hmm, this dialog should seriously be given more coverage. Maybe a Bold effect with a 48-size Arial font. No, seriously.

  • Try to develop in yourself some interest in this subject and study it for the purpose of learning.

Note the usages of ‘Try to develop’, ‘Some interest’. So they know the reality. Apram ennathuku intha torture!/Pinne enthinaa ee torture! 😦

  • We would welcome suggestions to make this study material more useful to the students. In case of any doubt, students are welcome to write to the Director of Studies.

Eh? What about the address to send suggestions that they welcome? Ah. Sleek..

Hmm. Such a long preface. Enough for today. Yawn. <Snore>

____________________________________________________________

P.S: When I find a greyish looking dusty book 3 months later during the yearly cleaning up and excavation of my room, please remind me it was this book. 🙂

I’m not old

“Dude, you seriously are just 20?! You look older than that!” – My neighbor said, the other day. Coming to think of it, I do, at times, feel seriously old. And to an extent, it could be blamed on my course.

The depth of the topics and the never-ending studies required give a fallen-straight-onto-ocean-from-pond feel to a schoolkid who joins CA. Articleship (practical training/office work, a compulsory aspect of CA) doesn’t help in the matter either. Meetings, deadlines, documentation, reports etc were all terms associated with big pot-bellied uncles, until I joined the course. Suddenly, I feel like I’m becoming one among them.

All the fun, the entertainment, the ‘who cares!’ or ‘whatever!’ attitude has just eroded out, and here I am, with either a grave/serious look, or a lost-and-out-of-the-world expression on my face anytime you see me. The formal dress code doesn’t help a dime either. What the heck! Writing about this is just making me feel even older.

Hmm. Maybe I should just forget all this and start a new leisure habit. Maybe I’m taking all this too seriously. Maybe I’m talking bullshit.  Hope you get the point! Anyway, efforts start from today. I am not ready to get old at such a young age.:D

Suggestions welcome..

CA? Wazzaat?

One thing that I find most amusing is the lack of awareness among the general public about the course of CA. I have lost count of the number of times I have been asked irritating questions regarding the course.

I wonder if its the same across the country, or just in my state (Kerala) where the life objective of parents is to suffocate their children with Engineering and Medicine career dreams. So much so that other careers are totally alien to most folks! No exaggeration. Maybe now, with all the new revamped names and new course patterns, CA is also becoming popular with the people here. Anything with Entrance, they’re on, – “CPT? CA Entrance? Cool..Send my child in”  Though its too late before the parents and the poor children realise the depth of the course.

Equally weird is when a CA student is asked about which year of studies he/she is in, or how many years more will it take to complete the course. I know many course-mates who take trouble to avoid old acquaintences so as to save self from all the crap!

A typical conversation could go like this: ( The parts inside < > are my thoughts)

Friend: Hey! Long time, I’m doing Mech Engg with XYZ Colg! What you upto?

Me: Cool. I’m onto CA.

Friend: Oh great. Which college?

Me: Hmm, there is no college. We study by ourselves.

Friend: Oh, thats bad. No college life, that would be real sad.

Me: <Yea, as if I dint know>

Friend: So what do you do whole day if you don’t have college?

Me: I work in a CA firm. Its called articleship.

Friend: Oh work?! So soon? So you mean you’ll be earning too? Thats great man.

Me: Yea thats the good part. <Yawn>

Friend: So how much do you earn?

Me: You know its not nice asking a man his salary.

Friend: Oh God! Salary! Already a big-shot eh! So what kinda work do you do?

Me: Its complicated pal, chuck it. <Thank God he didn’t press on the salary part>

…And so on…

Dummies guide to CA is one awesome article regarding the same issues. (Do check out the FAAQ in the last section of the above article) Also, here is a humorous take on the same. If you came to this page looking for serious info on the course, accept my apologies and please visit the ICAI.